I was born again in August 1972, so I am giving thanks to God for his grace that has enabled me to walk in the Spirit for 51 years.
Before I was truly saved, I’d attended church several times a week since birth. I read my Bible and prayed every day. I paid my tithe. My pastor even asked me to lead the mid-week Bible study.
But I did not have victory over sin. I did not have the Holy Spirit empowering me. Nor did I have the assurance that I was forgiven and accepted by God. I concluded that I must be going to heaven because I was as good as everyone else around me and because I kept all the rules of the church.
I was empty. I was not satisfied. I was confused. I knew there had to be more to religion than what I knew. And so I got by myself and asked the Lord to let me speak in tongues. Every time I opened myself to the baptism of the Spirit, however, I remembered someone I had wronged, and I contacted them to make it right. While I was continuing to seek God, I went to our denominational youth camp. One night, I went forward at the end of the service. In my confusion, I thought I was already saved but that I needed a second blessing. I told those around me that I was praying for the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I expected to get a powerful jolt, like I had grabbed a live electrical wire.
But that did not happen. Instead, God asked me to surrender to him. He asked me if I was willing to obey him. Although confused, I said yes. I left the altar and walked out under the night sky. I had a peace that I had not previously known.
I felt a strong desire to be baptized. Although I was given the impression that baptism was optional, I insisted; and before that week was over, I was baptized in a nearby pond. I still have a picture of that event.
When I returned home, I told my parents I had been “sanctified.” They said they thought that I already was. On January 10, 1975, I received a call to preach. Doors began to open immediately. By this time, I was enrolled in a Bachelor of Theology program at our denominational college. My heart was right, but my thinking was still wrong. Not long after that I was assigned to read some of Wesley’s sermons.
My first reaction to Wesley was that I had never heard anything like that before. His emphasis was on faith, assurance, and grace. My heart was spontaneously saying yes to those great sermons “Justification by Faith” and “Salvation by Faith”—even to the point of jumping up and down inwardly. But if Wesley was right, what happened to me at that youth camp is that I was born again. I was powerfully saved, and my life was changed. The Bible became clear to me after I was willing to accept a paradigm shift.
I was awakened when I went to the youth camp, but it took years for my head to catch up with my heart. However, since August 1972, I have had the indwelling Holy Spirit giving me victory and assurance.
After 51 years, my holiness is no longer measured by the length of my hair. I don’t have any left! And I have never spoken in other tongues, although I believe that God could give me that ability if that was his plan for me to evangelize across linguistic barriers. Instead, he has empowered me to bite my tongue and to apologize when I should have bit my tongue. I have stumbled and even fallen, but the Holy Spirit empowered me to get back up and keep going. I have walked through the fires of accusation and spiritual attack. I have become temporarily disorientated, but that indwelling inner compass has always led me back onto the path of true holiness.
Along with the Scriptures and Wesley, I do affirm that there is more grace available than what is received at the new birth. I affirm preliminary grace, justifying grace, and perfecting grace. Even though I was healed of spinal meningitis in 1961, the greatest miracle I have ever experienced was the miracle of the new birth in August 1972. Although I am convinced that the best is yet to come, even the final resurrection, I would be lost today except that God raised me from spiritual death 51 years ago.